Test Hacks for Dummies


By: Snarky McSnarkison

January 5, 2017

Hey Wildcats,

This is for all of the “Smart” people at North!!! Yes, I am talking about you! So, my dear not-so-well-behaved Wildcats, I am here today to give you the scoop on test-hacks. I know your average attention span is, like, two seconds long, but try to pay attention for the duration of this advice article!

Test-Hack → “Numero Uno”

Actually pay attention to what your teacher is saying. I know sometimes all you hear when you look at his/her mouth is “blah blah blah,” but you need the notes…..Hey, don’t look at me like that for stating the obvious! You and I both know this is the truth, so just try a little harder to focus….so moving right along.

“Numero Dos”

You know your mother will not be happy if you fail, so you need to ace this test. Lucky for you, I am your fairy godmother. Keep this on the DL, but I can get you the hookup on glitter pens; my sister is loaded and in my personal experience they help with studying. All of the pretty colors will help your mind, my young grasshopper. Color coding keeps you organized and helps you know what is important in your notes!! The color coding helps you see connections in the notes, so this means that you have an easier time studying. Yes, that just came out of my mouth – or technically on this page.  You actually have to study….. Oh my gosh, is your mind blown? I know mine is!!!!……-not-

“Numero Tres”

Hey, I told you I’d help you soooo I have an acronym for ya! It is PMS…. not that kind of PMS, you neanderthals. This handy little abbreviation stands for Practice Makes Scores Perfect. Ooops, I forgot the P….. the acronym is actually PMSP. It has been proven that studying things over and over and over again improves your chance at actually knowing the material. Repetition is key, young one!! Do you think any of the great people in this world didn’t  have to practice things? Yes, they have to practice, so, like them, you have to practice and repeat till you get it right,  hence the acronym PMSP. Practice!

Ahhh! Wise words were said here today by yours truly. So, my dear Wildcats, I have a question for you all.  If “low key” means tell no one, does high key mean tell everyone….? I don’t know, but if it does, that’s exactly what I want to do: tell everyone what they need to know to survive.  

Have ideas for future Snarky McSnarkison advice columns? Need some wisdom? Then write a comment in the comment section below.


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